Welcome to Teenage Parenting

The teenage years – I now welcome this new phase into my parenting karir career.

Daughter Patch turned twelve early this month. She’s not quite into the teen years yet, but the inevitable changes are happening so fast. And I’m talking milestone after milestone here.

Days before her birthday, I noticed a tiny red bump on a corner of her nose – the official first zit.

A few days after her birthday, she finally volunteered to sleep in her own room – the official first solo night.

Despite wanting her to leave the family bed for the loooongest time (masikip na eh), I felt some pangs of separation anxiety that night. I went to check on her at 11 PM – she was snoring so soundly. *sigh*

Oh, the official first period? It happened months ago. (She is so gonna kill me for blogging this! )

Her taste in music is also shifting – from HSM and Camp Rock soundtracks to Taylor Swift, Black Eyed Peas and Greenday. (I’m surprised she knows Greenday!)

The other day, I was talking to a couple of mom-friends from school. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to hear that this girl and that boy already broke up; this boy likes this girl but the girl likes another boy; this girl is nursing a broken heart…

As a mom of a teenager, I get palpitations when I hear these things.

Grade 5 kids – and they’re already in that stage of crushes, infatuation, heartaches and zits! It’s only a matter of time beforeย “this girl” will be my daughter.

No amount of reading parenting books or attending workshops can prepare parents for the real things of teenage-hood. But talking to other parents and sharing experiences are helpful.

I also try to make sure I am in touch with my daughter – in touch as in day to day. I try to be there even for the small things (such as skin care advice and acne treatment). We shouldn’t wait for something major to happen to “be there”, because then methinks that’s too late.

Fathers certainly have a role to play here – more significant than they realize. I remember what Francis Kong, a noted motivational speaker, said in a parenting seminar I attended (to this effect, not verbatim, but the last phrase is):

“Fathers, hug your daughters. Let them know the feeling of affection from you. Because, if they are not used to that, and some other male starts giving the affection, makukuryente yan!” (The last phrase literally translates to “she will be electrified”.)

So true, isn’t it? A study shows that “daughters who had good relationships with their fathers had significantly better communication and trust with their boyfriends.

How do we deal with common teenage issues? How should you react when your teenager cusses? Gets the first period? I interviewed some moms and I got some good pointers. Theย article is published at wmn.ph.

Do you have teenage parenting tips to share? Leave your comments here.

Oh, by the way, Patch has been sleeping solo since.

16 thoughts on “Welcome to Teenage Parenting

  1. greenday? singer yun? meron kang tape nyan? (lmao!) pero seriously, di ko kilala yung greenday. i’m so ancient!

    i agree that fathers have a big role in their daughters’ lives. i have a book by dr sears that encourages fathers to date their daughters on a regular basis. no lectures, good time lang talaga.

  2. Hi cess! haha, yes Greenday – i like them too. Pag teenager ang anak mo, kelangan sumakay minsan sa trip nila, hehe.
    Dad-daughter dates, good idea!

  3. Cess, re Green day, i love this group and so does Julian (me LSS siya from them) ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Hay, it is not going to be a smooth ride I guess but knowing that we have friends who can help us through the journey, parenting seems easier to manage.

    Just remember the FMB rule of thumb ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. i still have a long way to go but i am already dreading the day when they’re no longer babies (huhuhu). at the same time excited to see how much of our parenting will pay off.

    the goal here is to raise my boys into gentlemen, we don’t have that much nowadays…

    by the way, my kids love greenday too, especially kyle. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. My elder son is only in Grade 4 (he’s 9 years old) yet he already talks about ex-GFs and monthsaries! ~lol~ He shares that his best male friend in class has had 4 ex-GFs!!! Now just imagine when they reach high school. I agree parents of tweens and teens have a lot of things to watch!

    I like dad-daughter dates too. And yes, I observe this to be true: โ€œdaughters who had good relationships with their fathers had significantly better communication and trust with their boyfriends.โ€

    Very useful post, imom, and so is your entry on wmn.ph. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. In a few years too my daughter’s going to enter that phase. I’m forced to accept that.

    Yun lang, being a single parent, my daughter doesn’t have any contact with her father. My dad is the only male companion in our home.

    No I don’t have any teenage tips to share, but this post got me thinking about how fast kids grow up and start having a mind on their own. Sana may pause…

  7. Hi Gem! Your dad can be her surrogate dad too. Mas mahirap nga ang task mo, but I’m sure you’re doing great.

    Oo nga, sana pwedeng i-pause, or rewind hehe… True what i often hear – pag tuntong nila sa teenage years, full throttle speed na. So let’s treasure the early years with them. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Hi Chateau,

    Would like to request for your email address. I searched for it here but could not seem to find it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Would like to send you an official email.

    So sorry for the trouble but I hope you could respond soon. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Many, many thanks!


  9. Hi sis, very useful tips. My Nicole is also 12, stays in her room na rin, listens to Taylor Swift, watches Gossip Girl, wears my clothes and shoes and even tries my make up he he…One thing I’m not prepared is dealing with suitors or crushes, I often tell her na lang be careful with boys and that madaming manloloko nowadays. Pat and Nicole can very well be barkada with Trixie and Addie…

  10. Time flies! Saka ang bilis magdalaga at magbinata ng generation ngayon.=) Re: music shift. Parang pabaliktad ako. Nung nasa 6th grade, APO’s and other old songs ang nagustuhan ko. Now, I’m liking HSM and Hanna Montana’s/Miley Cyrus’ songs. Haha.

  11. I do think that children’s relationship with both parents has a huge influence with the way they treat other people and how they view life. Kds have a watchful eye and a keen memory when it comes to how they were while growing up. That is why, parents should be good examples to their kids. I know that it is very difficult to be a parent, but as our kids grow up, we learn more on how to becom better parents for them by realizing their needs and understanding their struggles.

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