My Funny V

Kids say the darnedest things. This is an understatement with VGood.

Many times, VGood comes up with the most hilarious ideas and one-liners or manages to get herself into very sticky situations (like the lovesick episode) that I can’t help but really laugh my a** off. I have started writing down her witty quips and might just end up writing a whole book. Here are a few of our recent Funny V exchanges.


Over dinner last night, I noticed that she and ate M (our helper) kept on whispering to each other about some secret. I let it pass, even as V kept on glancing at me nervously. Then finally I saw it. The red circle on her forehead – a hematoma about 1 inch wide, but too finely delineated to be a bump – which she tried so hard to conceal with her bangs.

Me: What happened to that?

V: Naumpog ako. (I bumped my head.)

Me: I don’t believe you…

(I recalled seeing her playing earlier with a Snoopy stuffed toy with one of those suction cups so it can hang by the car window. She must have stuck the suction cup to her forehead!)

Me: Aha! I know what happened. It’s the Snoopy toy, right?

V: *silently nods* (apparently waiting for me to get angry, that’s why she was keeping it a secret with ate M)

Me: *bursts into laughter* So what are you, bola bola or asado siopao? bwahahahaha

Ate M finally breathes a sigh of relief now that the secret is out and chimes in: Ako nga rin at si Nate gusto nya lagyan ng ganyan para daw hindi lang sya naiiba! (She also wanted me and Nate to get a spot on the forehead so she would not be odd-one-out!)

V laughed along with me and the rest of the family. In the bathroom though, while brushing her teeth later that night, she saw that the pink spot has turned purple. This must have triggered her panic button. While I was putting her and Patchy to bed:

V: Mom, how long will this go away? *pointing to her siopao spot*

Me: Maybe in 3 to 5 days.

V *counts with her fingers* So five days ba walang school?

I silently LMAO’d. What the…! She was trying to let me know she did not want to go school!

Me: No, there’s school in the coming five days.

V: *buries her head in pillow and sobs* But tomorrow my classmates will see it and they will laugh at me, then I will cry! I’m too nervous to go to school! (nervous she pronounces “ner-vuhs”ang arte, no?)

Patchy and I exchanged amused looks. LOL

Me: It’s okay. You don’t have to cry. Just laugh with them kasi it’s really funny naman eh.

V: Mom, can you buy something that will make this go away faster?

Me: *seriously thinks about it* Hmm.. Hirudoid? What else? Maybe we’ll just put ice on it tomorrow morning. (I was too lazy to get up and go downstairs to get some ice. Okay, okay, bad mama moment!)

V was still sniffing and sobbing softly till she fell asleep. I kissed her and Patchy goodnight.

VGood must have had an enlightening dream during the night for, come morning, she had a brilliant idea. She asked ate M to hand her the first aid kit. She rummaged through the box and fished out a piece of Band-Aid bandage. Lo and behold, the solution to her dilemma. She asked ate M to stick the Band-Aid to her siopao spot. Extremely pleased with her solution, she happily boarded hub’s car to go to school. 😀


I have some facial hair. On the upper lip. But I’m too chicken to have them waxed or threaded for fear that they will turn into full-blown man-hair when they grow back. Yikes! So I just ignore them.

When VGood first noticed my upper lip facial hair, she exclaimed with alarm in her voice:

Mom! You’re becoming a boy!

Me: What???

V: Come, look! pulls me to the bathroom mirror See? You’re becoming a boy!

Recently at the tutorial center, VGood, being the keen observer that she is, leaned over and whispered to me:

Mom, look at her! (nods towards one of the teachers) She’s a half-boy!

I pa-simple glanced over at the teacher. She got facial hair about a few micro-millimeters thicker than mine. LOL


Last summer, Patchy and VGood frequented the village swimming pool to cool down. One evening, as I watched them from my perch, I overheard a Korean lady making small talk with my kids.

Ms. Korea: Are you Filipino?

V: Yes. But I’m also Chinese. But I don’t know how to talk in Chinese so I will talk to you in English.

Ms. Korea: ??????


Witty one-liners:

One a hot summer day: “I’m melting!”

Upon giving me a morning kiss: (with a smirk) “Mom! Your mouth smells like death!”

When baby brother Magnate was born: “Let’s go see him at the baby office!”

When asked what she wants to be when she’s grown: (after a few thoughtful moments) “A shoe designer!”

22 thoughts on “My Funny V

  1. funny funny! i remember this morning yung anak ko tinawag yung ninong nya ng HOY. tapos sabi ng ninong nya, “anong hoy?” ang sabi ng anak ko, JOKE LANG!
    tapos nung nag goodmorning kiss naman siya sa ninong nya kanina bigla syang sumigaw ng NINONG BAD BREATH KA!

  2. ha ha ha, you sure have one funny kid! sometimes i wonder where kids get these things. once my two-year-old wanted to go out. sabi ko hindi ako pwede kasi i don’t have a bra on. i told her to go with her papa. ang tanong ng anak ko: why, does papa have a bra?

  3. ha ha ha. panu mommy baka maging half-boy ka na? LOL

    my son pio would tell me, “mama zip your mouth” even before i nag him. then, when i ignored him, and i begin to talk, he would say, “wag mo ko galitin”. inunahan nako. he he

  4. Omg, what one-liners from a would-be shoe designer who doesn’t seem to mind too much if her mom is turning into a half-man and smelling like hell.

    I guess you have a lot of documenting to do. Great blog material ha.

    The repartee with Ms. Korea is so funny and I guess she said her piece with all seriousness.

    I just remember my own boncho when she was kinder-1 at St Paul. On the first week of class, she approached her teacher and said not too impolitely I hope: “Teacher, hindi lahat ng bata dito amerikano. Please speak Tagalog in class. I am not amerikano.”

  5. kids just experiment and do things for which they would not know the consequences. V must have seen how the chinese use suction as treatment to some illnesses–i saw a lot of them in beijing when i was stationed there for months. they would have siopao marks all over their body.

    i remember one of my girls cut her bangs such that only an inch was left. it couldn’t be repaired–she had to go to school with huge headbands for weeks and weeks and weeks.

    when they grow older, they would be laughing at their antics.

  6. hahaha… that’s half-boy line just made me remember the one time my daughter asked me why she has a “bigote” and will she be a boy when she grows up. (she’s “balbon” so i guess as she grows other she would have to get use to having facial hair)

  7. hahaha, Vgood is so amusing! I have one just like her–my youngest one. she cut one of her sweat shirt, sewed ruffles to it, and came up with a cute skirt, which she then proudly wore during a chorus presentation. it looked beautiful on her!

  8. Leave it VGood to come up with a solution to her siopao spot! I had a good LOL over that one.

    And “ner-vuhs” duh! Funny, funny V!! Ang arte! I have fond memories of my niece Leslie. When she was 4 (she’s 6 now), she had this arte way of saying “Hurry guys (pronounced guh-hays)! It’s an emergency (pronounced em-her-gin-ceee)!” And she’d say it all the time. LOL!

  9. nakakatuwa naman ang mga hirits ni VGood. hahaha, i like best yung conversation nya with a Korean girl. sa loob loob siguro nung Korean girl: “eh hindi rin naman ako marunong ng Chinese, let’s talk in Korean language na lang”. 🙂

    after these one liners and the lovesick story, what could be more hilarious pa kaya? 🙂

  10. Super type ko anak mo. Usap sila ni Gaby one of these days. Tignan lang natin kung saan hahantong.

    Gaby also noticed my facial hair. Worse nga, she announced it over dinner na may “balbas” si Mama. And don’t worry about the “bad Mama” moment. It happens, even to the best of us..hahaha..oo umaamin ako na ganun din ako minsan..basta walang dugo, ok lang 🙂

  11. I enjoyed reading these memorable conversations especially the one-liners.

    The “Siopao spot” is a funny incident.

    VGood’s remarks about the hair on your upper lip is so amuzing.

    Wow, a shoe designer! That’s interesting!

  12. winners sa akin yung baby office, meaning Vgood can already put the faces to their rightful places and yung Ms. Korea quip, sobrang naggulo siguro ang isip nun sa anak mo LOL!

  13. haha, what a funny and witty kid you have 🙂 aliw ako with you becoming a boy and that she’s melting on a hot summer day 🙂

  14. Hi Mommies and friends!
    I noticed that all of you who are moms also shared a bit of their own funny kids. They are truly amazing little people, aren’t they?
    Naku, more to come on V-funnies. Everyday, she says something that really cracks me up! I regret now the times I did not write them down because now my anesthetized gray cells could not remember them. LOL


  15. Hi there Toni T. (I have another blog friend, si Toni O.)
    Ako din, I’d love to have a shoe designer-daughter. And I would readily be her Guinea pig anytime of the day! Yes, free shoes, who would resist that?? 😀

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