For most parents, it’s back to the usual grind – waking up early in the morning to get the kids ready for school, getting tired kids to sit still through evening review sessions, and going to bed with the next morning in mind.
Just writing that paragraph is already stressful!
But half of the stress can be dealt with once our kids become independent and are able to study by themselves.
I am lucky with Patch, the eldest, because I began letting go and letting her study by herself at Grade 3. Early on, she was able to form her study habits and today, I have no problems with her. With my guidance (minimal, at that), she manages her time between studies and volleyball, her sport.
Patch’s independence is a huge relief because I can focus more on V, who still needs a bit more prodding and pushing. As much as possible, though, I try not to spoon-feed her anymore. Now in Grade 4, I think she should be able to study by herself already. Last year, I rarely had to make reviewers and drill sheets for V… And I think she did just fine. By “fine”, I mean no failing grades.
They key is developing study habits. (Here are the Top 5 Study Habits according to Mom Center Philippines.)
One thing I learned about parenting through the years is surrendering expectations. Having too high expectations from our kids can be a major source of stress.
Don’t get me wrong: it is good to set goals and standards for our kids to achieve. It is good to challenge their abilities and aim to be better. But I don’t think it’s good to overdo it and stress ourselves and our kids over exam results. It’s good to teach them the values of hard work and excellence. It’s good to push them. It’s not good to push them way, waaaaay beyond their limits.
Of course I pale in comparison to Amy Chua, but I used to be a Tiger mom. My kids and hub might disagree and say I still am. But I think I’ve mellowed a lot already.
Ideally, I think parents should learn to find the balance between being laid-back and tigerish. And yes, more effort on helping their kids develop study habits early on. They may not appreciate it now, but your kids will thank you for it later.
How did/do you help your kids develop study habits?