Back-to-school blues: Developing study habits

For most parents, it’s back to the usual grind – waking up early in the morning to get the kids ready for school, getting tired kids to sit still through evening review sessions, and going to bed with the next morning in mind.

Just writing that paragraph is already stressful!

But half of the stress can be dealt with once our kids become independent and are able to study by themselves.

I am lucky with Patch, the eldest, because I began letting go and letting her study by herself at Grade 3. Early on, she was able to form her study habits and today, I have no problems with her. With my guidance (minimal, at that), she manages her time between studies and volleyball, her sport.

Patch’s independence is a huge relief because I can focus more on V, who still needs a bit more prodding and pushing. As much as possible, though, I try not to spoon-feed her anymore. Now in Grade 4, I think she should be able to study by herself already. Last year, I rarely had to make reviewers and drill sheets for V… And I think she did just fine. By “fine”, I mean no failing grades.

They key is developing study habits. (Here are the Top 5 Study Habits according to Mom Center Philippines.)

One thing I learned about parenting through the years is surrendering expectations. Having too high expectations from our kids can be a major source of stress.

Don’t get me wrong: it is good to set goals and standards for our kids to achieve. It is good to challenge their abilities and aim to be better. But I don’t think it’s good to overdo it and stress ourselves and our kids over exam results. It’s good to teach them the values of hard work and excellence. It’s good to push them. It’s not good to push them way, waaaaay beyond their limits.

Of course I pale in comparison to Amy Chua, but I used to be a Tiger mom. My kids and hub might disagree and say I still am. But I think I’ve mellowed a lot already.

Ideally, I think parents should learn to find the balance between being laid-back and tigerish. And yes, more effort on helping their kids develop study habits early on. They may not appreciate it now, but your kids will thank you for it later.

How did/do you help your kids develop study habits?

3 thoughts on “Back-to-school blues: Developing study habits

  1. I am looking forward to the day I can leave my son to study on his own…he just started gr.2 and my girl is still in pre-school so….. I still have loooong way to go, training them to have a routine and sched to get the habit going.

    You did a great job!!! Hope I’ll be successful with my style too…but it’s still a trial and error at this stage. I’m giving myself 1 more year with the boy! LOL! Then repeat cycle when the girl goes to elementary! Hay buhay! 🙂

  2. Oh my gosh, I just wrote something related to the Tiger Mom’s article but it focused more on how I was raised. There is a lot to say about this which is why I believe my upbringing has affected how I in turn have been raising my kids.

    Being a working mother means I call my 3rd grader from work at around 3:30 every afternoon and I walk him through his homework over the phone. If he needs to review for a quiz the next day, I monitor that he does so that when I get home by 6 I can give him a mock quiz.

    It’s tiring and sometimes I think i will not be able to survive it this way when all of my 3 boys are grade schoolers.

  3. I still have a long time to prepare for this as my little one is just 14months but I’ve been wondering about school and how will I be able to help her in studying. When I was student, I never had a study habit. My parents were never strict on me and never checking on me every minute if I have already finished my homework but (modesty aside) I’ve been one of the top students all through out so I am kind of wondering if I should do the same as parents did or this time instill more discipline. This article has made me ponder more and gave me important points to consider. Thanks!

    Spanish Pinay

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